What makes prayer powerful is the various kinds of prayers in which we can beseech the Lord. Paul makes this clear in his word use for prayer in Philippians 4:6:
"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with
thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."
He uses four words to show the diversified ways in which believers can approach God. This is helpful because it teaches us that in whatever circumstance we are in - in whatever way we need the Lord to show Himself in our lives - there is a specific way to seek after the Lord. While my focus here, however, is not Philippians 4, it helps us in to see the beautiful consistency of scripture. Just as Paul illuminates four kinds of prayer, David, in Psalm 51, provides three different words that convey three different expressions of sin: transgressions, iniquity and sin:
1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my
sin (Psalm 51:1–2)
Just as an aspect of the power of prayer is understanding the various ways of prayer so too is the power of repentance connected to understanding the sin of which I am repenting. I cannot truly repent if I am not aware, truly, of how I have offended the Lord. David's words are instructive because they help us, by God's gift to us, to be more discerning about why our sinful behavior is offensive to the Lord. So, when I come to see my sin and repent of it the questions are, what exactly am I repenting of and what am I needing the mercy of the Lord to forgive? We will look at each word, but for now, let’s consider what David means by transgressions.
Transgressions
This word speaks to sinful actions, literally, as acts of rebellion. To rebel against something or someone is to give opposition to them being fully aware that I am doing other than what is expected. For example, if I see that traffic light is red and I go through it, this is a transgression - an act in which I am clearly going against what I know to be wrong. I did not make a mistake. I made a deliberate choice to disobey the law. This is how David came to see and understand his actions. He knew the Lord and he knew the law but in that moment he chose deception, adultery and murder over the Lord. Ever done that? Yet, there is another layer to this.
Transgression also involves presumption – to assume something without evidence. To go against the Lord knowing fully that we are disobeying, presumes that we will survive the act of betraying Him. In other words, to put it in today’s vernacular, we transgress (rebel against the Lord) when we presume that, since He is a God of grace, He will spare us this time, even though I am putting my hand to His face and saying -"my passions will override your will and glory this time." To believe that I can sin because God is gracious is presumption and such presumption is playing with fire - eternal fire. This is why David said the following:
13 Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me!
Then I shall be blameless, and innocent of great transgression (Psalm 19:13).
David begged the Lord to restrain him from what was clearly still a possibility for him: to willfully sin presuming that the Lord - the offended Lord - will always and only be gracious to him.
I love that David is transparent here about his own sinful tendencies because it helps me to see that I am not alone, since I, too, feel the pull to transgress in some moments in my every day. In fact, I have used the teaching of Psalm 19 as a guide to how I pray for myself daily. Every morning I ask the Lord to
"deliver me from unbelief, pride, fear, anxiety, gluttony, doubt, self-reliance, glory theft (to not
take credit for God's work, presence amnesia (to not live a moment where I forget him),
overthinking, self-protection, prayerless living, grumbling, laziness, etc.,.
These, and many other unnamed passions, are capable of leading me to transgress and rebel against what I know to be true and what I know to be sinful. I, like David, need the Lord to keep me back from a heart that is capable of great rebellion. Yes, I love the Lord, and, at the same time, I find myself fighting against loving me too much as well as giving priority to my feelings and passions over the truth of the Word of God.
There is a phrase that we say often, but of which we should be very careful. We say, "to know better is to do better." This makes sense and, in ways, is very true. But what I missed in that phrase is significant. Clearly, for me to do better because I know better is not always the case! In fact, we could rightly say that to know better is to possess the ability to do better AND to rebel! The more that I know about the Lord also means the greater the possibility of my rebellion because I know more of what is right and wrong. Therefore, we must be vigilant and ask the Lord to keep us from rebelling against Him. I hope that I have said that clearly.
To know that when I sin I could potentially be rebelling against the Lord by presuming He will be gracious to me can change how I see my actions. My action that appeared to be or, what I deemed to be, a mistake could actually have been more than that. If what I did was done with the knowledge that what I was doing was wrong, that was not a mistake, it was defiant rebellion. It was me looking into the face of the Lord and saying: “this is my life, and, at this moment, I will do what I want and You, Lord, will grant me grace and mercy afterwards.”
As I wrote that last sentence my heart dropped.
Did yours?