As the lead pastor of The Bridge Fellowship, I am often seeking to move the church to a place of increasing gospel-centered creativity. I am always seeking to understand, to the degree the Lord allows this, how and why we are growing. Obviously, the Lord is the ultimate cause of church growth, but the disciplines of planting and watering are still necessary aspects to the Lord's increase (1st Corinthians 3:6).
I asked one of my sons a couple of questions regarding how we could continue to demonstrate the relevance of the gospel to the lives of those who visit the church and or unbelievers? His answer was simple: Relationships. Yet, there is more to it than what we tend to mean by relationship in our day. Genesis teaches us about relationship in two significant ways: the trinitarian origin and design of what true relationship is and the necessity of human relationships to achieve His ends.
The Trinitarian Origin of Relationship
When God created the world He said, "Let us create man in our image" (Genesis 1:26). This is clearly an expression of the trinitarian nature of God. Even the term "God" in Genesis 1:1 is the Hebrew word for God in plural form. God is one, but three. This is the mystery of the Trinity and, yet it is clearly reflected in the opening narrative of creation. Thus, relationships that do not reflect the activity evidenced in the Godhead are not authentic relationships. In the Godhead there existed and still exists the dynamic of mutual, self-expression. This is important to consider because a genuine understanding of relationship cannot be void of its central and original reality expressed in the Godhead. To know God is to know oneself as we were truly designed and created to be because relationship, even with ourselves, is contingent upon understanding the dynamic of God's self-generating joy in Himself.
The Necessity of Relationship for Mankind
Genesis 2 provides the context of how we are to understand relationships: "Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18). The obvious question is why was it not good for Adam to be alone? The answer is, I believe, three-fold. First, every animal that the Lord created had a mate of the opposite gender. Second, the ability to procreate, obviously, demanded someone like Adam, of the opposite sex. Third, Adam's joy, fulfillment, and ability to live out his God-given design, necessitated a helper. Let me deal with #'s 2 and 3 for the sake of space
Procreation.
The design of creation was not simply the creation of man but the population of this representative of God throughout the known world. This was impossible without a mate which is why God created Eve from the rib of Adam. Marriage, therefore, is not about two people falling in love and having a great life but, primarily about populating the world with godly seed. An unwillingness to have kids is, thus, the opposite of God’s design.
This does not mean couples should not plan, be purposeful and ensure to the best of their ability, that they are ready. However, marriages that are based on having no children at all are at odds with God’s purpose and intentions for marriage.
#3: Joy and Fulfillment of God's Design
It was not good for man to be alone because man, created in the image of God, was created to give, and receive joy as reflected in the relationship in the Godhead. In many ways we need to understand that being alone is not God's idea and, therefore, it will never produce the kind of fulfillment God designs for us. This does not mean that marriage is necessary, but that relationship is! Understand that Adam was created by God! You would think that he had all that he needed and, yet he was alone... not lonely. There's a difference.
Being lonely is the dangerous preoccupation with self, seeing personal fulfillment as the end all be all. It is not. God is the end all be all. Being alone, biblically speaking, is not having what is necessary to be all that the Lord intends you to be. Adam was alone and God said this was not good. God formed, from the man, a helper to eliminate him being alone. The idea of helper means just that, to help. Eve was not created to be equal to Adam in function or role, but supportive to him in achieving all he was created to achieve as the head.
I know this is a controversial statement given the climate of secular thinking. It is not meant to deprive, dismiss, or demean women and their significance. Women are the creation of God and as such are to be valued and cherished and honored...but not given functions and designs the Lord never intended. To say that Eve was not functionally equal to Adam is not to say that women are not equal as human beings to men. That would be unbiblical (Galatians 3:28; 1 Peter 3:7). However, relationships are to be understood from the design of God. Eve was Adam's helper. Who else is called helper in the Bible? The Holy Spirit. That is an incredible connection! The Lord designed women to be for men what the Holy Spirit is to the believer. As the Holy Spirit connects all of us (male and female) to the lifesaving relationship with the Father and empowers us to live, and to look like the Son, this is exactly what wives do for husbands.
Women, like Eve, are designed to empower, and encourage men to fulfill their God-given duty on this earth. As none of us would dare part our lips to demean or speak of the Spirit as having of any lesser value than the Father and the Son, nor should any of us do that with respect to women. The entire point is this: man's joy is found in his woman who encourages and helps his growth and obedience to the Lord. And the woman's joy is knowing that her husband is doing what the Lord wants him to do and, as a result, is the beneficiary of his Christ-like obedience by being loved and cared for by him like Christ does for the church (Ephesians 5:24ff).
All relationships only become difficult when we forget the mutual, self-giving design of the relationship. Even in the church, when we fail to honor others above ourselves, we create divisions and factions and all kinds of dishonorable activities out of selfishness (Philippians 2:1-4). More, we hinder the source of our own joy (read 2 Corinthians 2:1-4).
Relationships are like a bank account: I cannot and should not expect to withdraw what I did not and or am not depositing. It ain’t the bank’s fault!