Some of your minds went immediately to Tevin Campbell's song, "Can We Talk?"
That was the jam back in the day, but the focus in not the same here. Let me give you a principle that I want to talk about:
"If who I am by nature goes against who I must be by faith, who I am by nature must be crushed
and killed by who I should be by faith."
Let me explain using scenario:
Suppose you know of a couple that is having problems. You know it for yourself. You did not hear it from anyone but you know it because you see the relationship being torn apart. What do you do?
Some would not say anything at all because they, by nature, feel that other people's problems are not their problems. Others would hold back before they speak because they, by nature, are reserved and are slow to speak. Some would speak into the situation immediately because they, by nature, are this way.
Which response is right? Neither?
Neither is right because each responds in the way that they "naturally" respond to situations and we should not respond naturally to anything! Well, there is a time when we should, but I will touch on that a little bit below. For now, let me explain what I mean.
Too often people justify their actions with the phrase: "That's just how I am." That is understood because that is true of all of us; we are all "just how we are." But what if being "just how I am" is not how Christ wants me to be? What if my non response to the couple in the scenario above is ungodly because by faith I should get involved? What if my reserved nature of not speaking before I processed the situation actually gives more room to the enemy to further disrupt the marriage? What if my tendency to rush in leaves me without the requisite wisdom to bring life with my tongue?
Behaving in ways that are "just the way I am" by nature may well be a hinderance and not the help that I think it is.
What is the solution?
To do everything by faith. If the Lord tells the one who, by nature, never gets involved to actually get involved he or she must go against their nature to be faithful to the Lord. If the Lord calls us to go against who we are naturally we are obligated to obey Him. If He tells me to not rush in I should not rush in even thought I am oozing with useful information (at least that's what I think).
When we operate this way, acting and responding by faith, something radical begins to happen. The "just who I am" begins to be conformed to the image of who Christ is. Something of a metamorphosis begins to take place in my life and my thinking, acting and assessment flows through the prism of the mind of God (the Word of God) because I am being led, more and more, by the Spirit of God.
Hence, the principle again:
"If who I am by nature goes against who I must be by faith, who I am by nature must be
crushed and killed by who I should be by faith."
The way we crush our natural disposition is to remind ourselves of this transformational principle:
"If I know that who I am by nature goes against who I must be by faith, then I must bathe myself
in the Word of God and prayer - daily - such that the mind of God takes over my natural mind
so that who I become, by nature, reflects the nature of the Lord Jesus Christ."
In the words of Paul, we continue this process until Christ is formed in us (Galatians 4:19). So the next time a brother or sister or couple is struggling, be to them who you are to be by faith, not by nature.